Future+Soldier's+Handbook

//Dear Candidate: Approximately five hundred years ago you were chosen for a mission of terrific importance. Good on you!//  //Dear Candidate: This mission will be considered a success if you get yourself relatively unscathed to the futuristic and possibly non-existent spheres of power! There, you will deliver a letter found in a secret pocket by your shirt lapel and await command! This enormous task can even be broken down into three succinct sections—with diagrams! Survival made easy by this step-by-step how-to booklet; this instructive list of quotes and morals; these maxims of hope and helpful advice!...// You blink because this is news to you, and possibly also because the abundance of exclamation marks hurt your eyes and numb your brain. Frankly, you’re not quite sure. Blankly, you kind of feel for a sharp dry corner, and some age-old instinct presses you to flip the crisp white page.  //Dear Candidate: Your life will be based on three sensations: **Pain, Anger,** and **Relief.** Confused? Don’t be! Let’s explain these now:// //1. **Relief** is a good sensation. You feel Relieved after accomplishing a large, important task, such as **__Your Mission!__** **Relief** is a promise, and thus it is a **Hope**! **Relief** is something you can believe in and look forward to, like this book!// //2. **Pain**: when something **Hurts**, **Pain** is being caused. Try pinching yourself now to experience minor **Pain**—this can be accomplished by gripping a section of skin from your arm with your thumb and forefinger, and steadily increasing the pressure until it will cause you **Relief** to stop!//  //• Pain is a good thing, but you will not Enjoy it! Remember that when you Enjoy something, you associate the experience with Relief that it is happening or that the thing causing you Joy exists! (Dear Candidate: If you are unfamiliar with any of these terms, refer to the glossary at the back of the handbook)//  //• When someone is causing you Pain, it is also a good thing to Stop them!// //3. **Anger** is an emotion. You will experience **Anger** when people are causing you **Pain.** It is closely tied to **Frustration**—when you are **Angry** but cannot express it. **Anger** will be your main motivation next to **Relief**. For example, you will be **Relieved** to complete **__this mission__**, but during the course of completing it you may be **Angry** several times!//  //Dear Candidate: Thank-you for reading this letter! The truth about an entire era is counting on your success!//  //Dear Candidate: Good luck!// You peel your eyes from the paper and taste something sweet in your mouth. You’re not really sure what they are but these words excite you, and you’re certain you can manage to remember that this was your calling all along. When you woke up an hour ago with the feeling of Christmas Day curling your toes and excitement churning your stomach you had no idea, you’re sure this is where the anxiety came from, you’re so certain it thrills you and fills you thoroughly with chills. So you take a quick breath, straighten your starched collar, and walk carefully forward, as to not scuff your shiny black boots; slowly, in case you’ve forgotten how to walk.  *  //Dear Candidate,// you read, something painful holding your stomach tightly, //if you are experiencing any of the symptoms above, you are most likely experiencing a **Hunger Pain.** In order to **Stop** it, one must engage in a process commonly known as **Eating**. In order to **Eat,** please follow the instructions below!// // First, you will need a little background information. **Eating**, or consumption of food, is a process mainly associated with providing nutrition—that is, providing fuel to your body for absorption and eventual utilization of certain particles to carry on with normal bodily processes, such as heart-beating and leg-moving. You will need to **Eat** at least twice a day. Packets of **Food** can be **Opened** and **Eaten**, and enough **Food** for five days can be found in your **Backpack**. Read through the instructions once, and thoroughly, before attempting to **Eat**. Otherwise, good luck! // // Method: // //<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',Times,serif; font-size: 150%;"> 1. Unzip—this can be done by firmly pinching the bag with the thumb and forefinger of your left hand. With the other hand, move the bright red mechanism in one constant direction away from your left hand. // //<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',Times,serif; font-size: 150%;"> 2. Reach in and grip the Food with your right hand. Move it out of the bag and towards your mouth, taking a small bite from it. This bite should be no bigger than an inch squared to make for easier consumption. // //<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',Times,serif; font-size: 150%;"> 3. Chew the food. This can be accomplished by moving lower jaw against the upper jaw in a grinding motion in order to pulverize the food and moisten it, forming it into a delectable saliva-drenched ball of food known as a food bolus. // //<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',Times,serif; font-size: 150%;"> 4. Use the tongue to move the food bolus to the back of the throat and to the pharynx to prepare for step five. // //<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',Times,serif; font-size: 150%;"> 5. Now comes the tricky part—swallowing! The co-ordination of this is precise and, fortunately, reflexive! Once the food bolus reaches the pharynx, touch receptors activate and a series of complex and scientific reflexes controlled in the medulla oblongata and pons will do the rest. Simply ensure that the food bolus makes it down the esophagus, and that the epiglottis shuts while doing so, otherwise you’ll die! This process is the result of Choking. If you are experiencing symptoms common to choking, refer to page 49. // //<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',Times,serif; font-size: 150%;"> 6. Repeat steps two to five until the entire Packet has been Eaten. // //<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',Times,serif; font-size: 150%;"> Tip: eat with relish! // <span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',Times,serif; font-size: 150%;"> You are not exactly sure what “with relish” is but perhaps it is a condiment. You chew very slowly anyways, uncertain as to whether you’re doing it correctly or not, wondering how it is that it feels so familiar. <span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',Times,serif; font-size: 150%;"> * <span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',Times,serif; font-size: 150%;"> The air is thick and humid and your collar seems to press itself threateningly close around your neck. It’s limp now, a little, but starchy enough to nudge your jawbone when you sink down low to hold onto your knees, latching your fingers together and hooking the pinkies to keep your balance as you breathe hotly into the nylon and cotton. <span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',Times,serif; font-size: 150%;"> There’s something tight in your chest and you’re pretty sure this isn’t supposed to happen. Possibly there’s something wrong in the wiring or with the arrangement and the way the bits and pieces fit together, or maybe a deficiency with the plastics or the gels or the sponge in your bones and how they were manufactured. You’re sure you weren’t built for this. You feel a nameless confusion twisting inside your ribcage. <span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',Times,serif; font-size: 150%;"> You shift and hear a rustle, something poking into your stomach as you curl your backbone against the outside. When it becomes unbearable you shift again and realize something besides the Relief, struggling to fumble with your handbook, taking steadying breaths that someone from somewhere must have taught you a long time ago, which fill up your chest and make it difficult to concentrate on much else. //<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',Times,serif; font-size: 150%;"> Types of **Pain**, how to deal…bruises and scratches are sometimes common when…if you see blood, then carefully…it’s alright to cry, because stubbed toes really are… // <span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',Times,serif; font-size: 150%;">None of this is helping you much, you realize, but you keep flipping through because you’re sure you’re feeling pain, and didn’t it say that by definition— //<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',Times,serif; font-size: 150%;">Some pain can be classified as a tight, hard feeling… // <span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',Times,serif; font-size: 150%;"> The words catch your eye like a butterfly at the edge of your vision. //<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',Times,serif; font-size: 150%;">…or like a stone centered in your stomach or your intestines. After referring to page 229 to ensure that this simply isn’t constipation… // <span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',Times,serif; font-size: 150%;"> This is useless, but you’re sure you’re getting closer. It’s a simple promise you have anyways, held tightly by either hand, corners nestling themselves in the cracks between your fingers and nudging at you as you flip the pages brusquely, digging your heels into the ground to keep your balance. //<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',Times,serif; font-size: 150%;">Some types of pain are more difficult to describe because they are more ethereal or abstract. Some can manifest as a fluttery feeling inside your chest, on your arm, or—most commonly—heavily on your back in a place generally unreachable even by the most agile. Such Pain is also often accompanied by feelings of Hopelessness and even of Despair. Don’t worry, however, as this is perfectly normal, and nothing to be ashamed of. // <span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',Times,serif; font-size: 150%;"> You bite your lip and try to keep from smiling, your fingertip wrestling with the corner of the page. You take a breath in that shakes your ribcage. <span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',Times,serif; font-size: 150%;">“Dear Candidate: This is called an itch. You are allowed to scratch it. This can be accomplished in the following three step process…” you read, while the smile drops heavily from your face, the edges of your mouth uncurling to settle deeply into a solid line. <span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',Times,serif; font-size: 150%;"> * //<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',Times,serif; font-size: 150%;"> **Panic** is an emotion too—one you should not associate with. It is a vile, embarrassing, unnecessary, painful experience and a source of great shame for a military-trained person such as yourself. (Dear Candidate: please refer to the glossary if you are unfamiliar with any of these terms) // //<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',Times,serif; font-size: 150%;"> **Panic** is inherently bad. You will not enjoy it. You will not associate with it. If you are in a situation where people are panicking, look upon them with either pity or disgust, and stop them as you see fit (Dear Candidate: please note that in this context, “as you see fit” means that you will act only on behalf of the good of Your Mission). // //<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',Times,serif; font-size: 150%;"> If you are experiencing panic, then stop it as soon as possible. Depending on the degree of panic you are experiencing, this can be done quite easily. Taking several deep, calming breaths usually does the trick. For further instruction, refer to the steps below… // <span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',Times,serif; font-size: 150%;"> * <span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',Times,serif; font-size: 150%;"> This isn’t something you remember, all of these persuasive flashy lights, but they’re nice to read anyhow, when they’re not blinding. <span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',Times,serif; font-size: 150%;"> “Buy me!” one of them shrieks; a hologram of something animated and life-like. “According to your opinion, I may taste satisfactory!” another claims. “Side effects may contribute to cancer!” A third rings out honestly at the top of its lungs as you pass by, and you smile to yourself, except you don’t know why. <span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',Times,serif; font-size: 150%;"> “Meet with your nearest government official today!” This one catches your ear. You turn around to look at a yelping billboard, squinting to read some squiggly text, your shoulder jostled by a quickly-moving man in a silver jumper. “For the okay price of only $79.99, buy an hour of their time and you probably won’t regret it! Refunds unacceptable!” <span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',Times,serif; font-size: 150%;">You’re starting to remember the concept of money and economics—wasn’t that a subject you were strong at in school?—but you’d better look it up, just in case. You run a hand through your hair and puff out your cheeks while you sigh loudly, moving against the flowing traffic of pedestrians, asking them to part before you and walk around you a little modestly, like you’ve read is the best way to, and sit down quietly on the edge of a conveniently-placed bench. <span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',Times,serif; font-size: 150%;"> The concept of money is an age-old invention not particular to one place or time… <span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',Times,serif; font-size: 150%;"> Quietly, you take a quick breath and shift against the hard metal, flattening the white page with a wide hand and grimacing, just a little, when a crease appears near the middle. <span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',Times,serif; font-size: 150%;">If you’re thinking of purchasing something then please, Candidate, first read this handy guide on spending money wisely… <span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',Times,serif; font-size: 150%;">You look up and peer through the foggy atmosphere, squinting to make out the squiggly numbers and lines that burn neon into your corneas, jotting them down on an imaginary notepad and trying your best to keep them there before turning back to the rustling pages. <span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',Times,serif; font-size: 150%;"> * <span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',Times,serif; font-size: 150%;"> A tall one looks at it briefly and squints a lot and slowly his face contorts like a grape drying in the sun. He mumbles lowly in his throat and passes it to someone else and they do the same thing, reacting in what you suppose is disbelief but you’re unsure, so you keep this all to yourself. <span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',Times,serif; font-size: 150%;"> “Truly, fascinating.” Someone finally says, their shoulders hunched and their shaking hand holding up the message to the light, print visible through both sides of the butterfly-wing tissue-paper. “The typeset used, if I’m not mistaken, is common to the era of the twenty tens, identifiable via the swirls and textures, the pattern of the ink blots.” A wicked, self-satisfied little grin twisted his purple lips as he handed it gently to someone across the table. <span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',Times,serif; font-size: 150%;"> “The paper is in top condition, the quality and grade easily identifiable. Nice, nice…” she nodded appreciatively and slid it across the tabletop to a third. <span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',Times,serif; font-size: 150%;">“I’d like to do a fracture test on the paper, and wrinkle test on the corners. Overall, however, an interesting piece of history. And, if I can say so,” she looked up from under her glasses, “it’s in excellent condition. How did you manage to find such a fine specimen?” <span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',Times,serif; font-size: 150%;"> You shift back from one foot to the other. “It’s a message.” You say, and you hear someone suppress a chuckle. “If you’d be so kind as to just read it,” you continue tentatively, “I’m sure everything would make more sense.” <span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',Times,serif; font-size: 150%;"> One of them humours you, taking a noisy breath and murmuring to himself as he takes the paper delicately from the other. <span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',Times,serif; font-size: 150%;"> “This is useless to us.” Someone says, eventually, into the near-silence. “We’re mediocre archeologists, thing-identifiers, not cryptologists. Why, are you?” <span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',Times,serif; font-size: 150%;"> A shaky nod. You rub the back of your head, ignoring the fact that the question was probably rhetorical. “Of a kind.” <span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',Times,serif; font-size: 150%;"> “Well then, in your esteemed opinion, pray tell what is it?” <span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',Times,serif; font-size: 150%;"> “I don’t know.” Is your honest reply. “A message.” You add, for the second time. They hand it back and you take it gently and say “I’ll try and decipher it. Give me a moment.” <span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',Times,serif; font-size: 150%;">The piece of paper was small and white and slightly transparent. There is a fingerprint on it that isn’t your own. You look at the small, neat print and skim it quickly, murmuring under your breath. <span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',Times,serif; font-size: 150%;"> “Dear Sphere of Power: At your disposal is a military-trained informant from the year 2010 to aid you in your quest for knowledge and correct your assumptions based on the era of…etcetera…etcetera. He is as convenient as something freeze-dried, and his expiry isn’t for years…” <span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',Times,serif; font-size: 150%;"> You suppose this is the first draft, and that they were a little short on paper in 2010, so you turn the tissue-thin message over and try again, holding your lips tightly. <span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',Times,serif; font-size: 150%;">“Because he has been kept in suspended animation for the past five centuries,” it says, “his memory is likely a little foggy, but we’re sure you’ll eventually get him to remember something useful with some rest and proper memory training! It’s also for the better, seeing as instant recollection will probably cause psychological breakdown!” <span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',Times,serif; font-size: 150%;"> A sensation you are not meant to be familiar with rises in your throat and coats your tongue. It’s something you liken to anger, because that’s the only emotion you know how to name, but it could easily be nausea or confusion or delight or any of the other interesting words you’ve read that day. <span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',Times,serif; font-size: 150%;"> What are you supposed to do with this? There is no answer you can put to the question so you calmly crumple it up and hold it in your sweaty palm. <span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',Times,serif; font-size: 150%;"> “Is there something wrong?” One of them asks, undisturbed at the desecration of such an important artifact. <span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',Times,serif; font-size: 150%;"> “Never mind.” You tell them. “It just wasn’t anything important.”
 * //<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',Times,serif; font-size: 150%;"> Panic //**